Yet, despite this loathsome and horrific odyssey, I was vigilant with my anti-viral program. Problem was, I'd forgotten that I'm too tough for such a cowardly departure. The personal disbelief, karmic confusion, shame and anger lead to a temporary yet abysmal decent into profound substance abuse and fathomless drinking. Unfortunately, for my family and myself, it had only just begun. Like every other challenge in my life, again, I was victorious and kicking this disease's ass. Not missing a beat, a med dose, or one shred of guidance, quickly my viral loads became undetectable. Robert Huizenga as well as 'the' leading infectious disease expert in the known universe, I began a rigorous and intensive treatment program. Under the brilliant and perfect care of Dr. Those impossible words I absorbed and then tried to convince myself, that I was stuck, suspended, or even stranded inside some kind of alternate reality or nightmare, were to the absolute contrary. Following a battery of endless tests, that included a hideous spinal tap, it was sadly and shockingly revealed to me that I was, in fact, positive for HIV. I was emergently hospitalized with what I believed to be a brain tumor or perhaps some unknown pathology. Roughly four years ago, I suddenly found myself in the throws of a seismic and debilitating three-day cluster-migraine like headache.
